From your text it’s clear to me that you’re not “burned out”, you are depressed. Social isolation triggered it, and now you feel like a failure because your thinking habits are diseased. Usually when we fail at something we make excuses such as “I wasn’t prepared for this” or “I just needed more time”. Most of the time these excuses are reasonable, other times they are delusional. No matter the validity, excuses protect your self-esteem and psychological well-being.

When you put yourself in an environment where there are simply no excuses you are in full responsibility of your actions. When you fail, the only logical conclusion is that you’re stupid, not fit for the job, a deluded loser.

An environment where you have full control over the variables implies that there is no other person meddling with it. Control requires isolation, but us human beings were never meant to be completely isolated and it takes a heavy toll on our well-being.

I personally worked myself out of this hole by giving my depression some meaning. Before I was proud of my skills, fiercely independent, even a bit arrogant. Going through this allowed me to really appreciate the value of my friendships and family. It allowed me to see the importance of relaxing, enjoying and exploring life. It made me humble and sympathetic towards other peoples struggles. Had you written this one year ago I would have told you “man up and get your shit together”.

Above all, it allowed me to deeply explore my inner self and feel at ease with my short-comings. I am much more lenient towards myself and others. I feel more “in reality”.

I think the process of healing is deeply personal, your demons are surely not the same as mine. Just rest assured that the end of the journey is a world brighter than it was before.